I Believe in Looking at the Sky Everyday

In trying to develop any semblance of thought resembling a "This I Believe Essay," I just decided to start somewhere. My previous try took me toward describing my tea bag instead, so here is actually why I think the sky is so important...

I believe in looking at the sky everyday. By "day" I mean a 24 hour period. There are places I have lived, like rural Kansas, where this statement as a concept is absurd. How can you help it when "the sky" makes up 90% of the landscape directly in front of you at any given time? The only way to miss the sky is to make a conscious decision not to look anywhere. I believe, however, that most of us who lived there missed it - yep, missed the sky - as a direct consequences of not looking at it on purpose.

Now I live in Dallas as one tiny piece of a progressive and bustling sky-obstructing landscape. The sky is not in front of you, it is actually above you in bits like an elusive, rare bird occasionally singing, daring you to spot it. If you don't even try, you won't.

I believe in stratus, cirrus, and cumulus, in stars and galaxies, in the moon and setting and rising sun - and that every moment of every day is a brilliant new work of art (albeit sometimes various shades of gray) on a huge canvas completely accessible to every living being on this planet. It is abstract Impressionism, minimalism, realism - powerful beauty and mystery available to the wealthy and those in poverty, to every age, gender, village and neighborhood.

I believe the simple act of purposefully looking up lifts me out of my myopic, self-absorbed, familiar universe and transports me to mystery and beauty and a vastness that grounds me... One that reminds me of who else is in this gallery with me while simultaneously filling me with a throat-clenching gratitude that this is all here for me -
because I'm looking.


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Journal Entry 2-21-12, 9:00pm

Why is the sky so important?

I wish I could write about that,
But I feel so sleepy
And my nose is stuffy
And runny and raw
And I keep getting distracted
By the tea bag label hanging over
the side of my mug.
It is wildly flapping and twisting
under the ceiling fan,
Changing from green to white
and white to green,
From Peppermint Herbal Tea
To Stash Premium Tea,
And I've decided that brushing my teeth
again after I drink it is unnecessary
Because my mouth feels minty
(and I didn't add sugar).


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This I Believe

I have just become acquainted with the concept of the "This I Believe" essay, because my oldest daughter Abby had to write one for her GT sophomore English class. It is essentially a brief (under 500 words) essay declaring why you believe in something that you submit to the This I Believe website and the best are chosen for publication.

Great concept. There are some fabulous titles like "I Believe in Coolness to the Pizza Delivery Dude" written by a community college English professor and "I Believe in Lunch Breaks" both of which take you on surprising journeys far beyond their humble titles.

Of course I now can't stop thinking about all of the things I believe in...

But I can't get beyond the fact that I believe in them. I can't seem to fully develop an idea even to only 500ish words.

So what follows is a brief list of beginnings, because that's as far as I've gotten:

I believe in blogging, although you wouldn't know it.

I believe in looking at the sky everyday.

I believe in date night with my husband.

I believe in running outside.

I believe in sleeping in on Saturdays.

I believe in 100% whole wheat bread.

I believe in quiet.

I believe in think time.

I believe in taking my make-up off everyday.

I believe in grief and joy.

I believe in knowing my daughters (at least trying).

I believe in poetry.

I believe in Good Friday.


Maybe I'll develop one of these into an actual essay, maybe not. It's a start. If only I believed in finishing...



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A Necessary Friday

Sometimes you just find yourself happy it's Friday and perhaps a little more energized than usual in light of it... Or you've had a horrible week or a crazy busy week and you are ready to celebrate Friday like it's a national holiday that demands observance...

Or you feel a little foggy most of the day, happily stumble into the house with your children after work, try to make sense of the new, albeit super easy recipe you hope to have the mental capacity to complete, and 45 minutes later your husband brings you the keys that were in the minivan you left parked and running in front of the house - for 45 minutes...
That is a Friday you need.

Our church, Chase Oaks Church has a Friday night service that I love to attend as a family. It is such a great way to kick off the weekend and it's honestly a fun Friday night gig. I grabbed coffee as soon as I got there tonight, but I think I'm deluding myself. I am just too far gone.

Due to this, I will be brief with any thoughts in my own head.
I leave you with my new currentlies and a prayer...

CURRENT CURRENTLIES:

Exercising - on the "Something's Better Than Nothing" Plan (designed it myself). Working out twice a week at a gym for some strength building with Greg and running twice a week... When able, because on the SBTNP, pressure and guilt are nonexistent, and I can't be derailed if I miss a week.

Watching - the BBC show Sherlock with Greg and the older girls. Good stuff. Tried the premier of Touch from the kitchen while making lunches, not so impressed.

Listening to - the new David Crowder Band album entitled Give Us Rest. Haven't heard everything yet, but that's on my weekend to do list. Love what I've heard so far.

Reading - Southern Living and Country Living every month (like a party in my mailbox when I find one) and trying new fast recipes.
The Hunger Games - still too early to tell, engaging.
Outliers as an IBook - have a hard time putting that one down, fascinating! What is my 10,000 hours thing? I need to know!
Reflections for Ragamuffins Daily Devotions by Brennan Manning - I love this. Each day holds a poignantly refreshing and accessible focus on truth I can digest over cold cereal at 6:00 am before the madness takes over.

I leave you with a beautiful, now dog-eared prayer by Brennan on January 22nd:

Jesus, my Brother and Lord,
I pray as I write these words for the grace to be truly poor before you, to recognize and accept my weakness and humanness, to forgo the indecent luxury of self-hatred, to celebrate your mercy and trust in your power when I'm at my weakest, to rely on your love no matter what I may do, to seek no escapes from my innate poverty, to accept loneliness when it comes instead of seeking substitutes, to live peacefully without clarity or assurance, to stop grandstanding and trying to get attention, to do the truth quietly without display, to let the dishonesties in my life fade away, to belong no more to myself, not to desert my post when I give the appearance of staying at it, to cling to my humanity, to accept the limitations and full responsibility of being a human being - really human and really poor in Christ our Lord.

Amen.



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One stinky little thing

Sometimes you have a great day and a great outlook and a decent energy level. Sometimes your mental and creative energy is flowing pretty well and then one stinky little thing throws you off... One stinky little thing, just one - but there goes your "great" and there goes your energy. Yeah, well, I hate when that happens.

And even though that might have happened at work today and I'm tired now (and my family got the leftovers of me after the stinky little thing), I still need to tell you about a simple story I heard.

A guy who spoke at our church last Sunday closed his message with a story about his 4 year old son who wanted him to come into his room and say "goodnight" after he got home from a late meeting. Turned out the meeting went much later than planned, so by the time he came home, his son had been in bed for several hours. Jason (our friend who was speaking) dutifully went in to his son's room anyway and was amazed to see that he was still awake.

"Why are you still awake?" he asked his bleary, squinty-eyed 4 year old.

Barely able to hold his eyes open, he said "Daddy, I kept my eyes open so I could see you."

O my goodness, he went a different direction with the poignancy of that comment, but I suddenly had my desperate prayer penned and my daily goal illuminated.

I wish I had the grit of that sweet 4 year old, but my prayer would be,

Father, please help me keep my eyes open so I can see You.

...even after one stinky little thing.


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