Out-of-body experience

I am organizing. Well, I'm attempting to organize. There is an awful lot of that I need to do before we start school for the year. Whenever I try to organize anything, it's the closest I can imagine coming to having an out-of-body experience. It's like I have to become somebody else and try to think within their organized brain. The whole process is really time-consuming and draining for me.

The bummer is that I can't stand clutter and chaos; I can't function within that environment. My shoulders creep up to my earlobes, and I become terribly irritable. As far as I'm concerned this indicates some kind of genetic defect. If chaotic surroundings affect me so much, I should have the natural talent of knowing how to organize effectively.

I know people like this. Such people do exist, and I have actually called such a person before to help me organize. The following account is true, I promise:

I tried to organize my "craft cupboard" several years ago. I opened the cupboard and looked at it. I thought about that cupboard. I looked at it some more and thought some more. The craft cupboard defeated me; I was paralyzed. I called my friend who is one of those people. No kidding, I described my craft cupboard over the phone to her, and she immediately began telling me what to do. This person took me through what to do step-by-step until my craft-cupboard was conquered.

I am trying to "be that person," and so far I have mostly conquered the desk in the study. The problem is, this is a terribly draining experience, and all of my energy, including any creative juices, are being channeled into this out-of-body experience.

So, this is the end of my post.

The Ugly Truth

The charming 3-year-old celebrated in my last post ruined my sleep last night. I'm not sure exactly what happened except that she was completely wakeful until - 4:30 a.m.! She had a new "dream" about every half hour that caused her to loudly beckon me to her room so she could share it with me. By about 2:00 a.m. I wasn't feeling particularly friendly or conversational anymore, but there was NO reasoning with her.

All that to say, I woke up sleep deprived and needing BIG coffee. Have you ever started your day looking for an opportunity to yell at someone? If not, then me neither, and please stop reading this post.

If you have, then I invite you to continue reading. I actually felt pretty good most of the day; really, I was rather proud of my self-control under the circumstances. My big goal for the day was, ahem: to get through it. No way, no how was I going to let Grace take a nap, so we went to the park this morning, the swimming pool this afternoon, shopping at Newton's "Discounts in the Dark" tonight, and currently she is sleeping like a log. Mission accomplished so far.

The trouble occurred today when I had to grab about 4 items at our little grocery store. We have a REALLY little grocery store, but it is conveniently located actually within our little town. I save up shopping for the big grocery store in Newton whenever I can, but sometimes you just need something immediately, like provolone cheese. I walked into my little grocery store straight back to dairy to grab a gallon of milk and saw the discount sticker lady (who is very nice and was completely unaware of the state in which I awoke this morning).

"O, half and half is marked down, GREAT," I said. We're getting a little low; it's very important for coffee. So, I looked through the whole crate of half and half marked 5o cents off and found every one with a date of yesterday or today.

"Isn't this the use by date?" I asked.

"O, I'm not sure if it's the use by or sell by date," she began and said something about being sure it would be fine for a few more days.

I began to feel a bit unstable emotionally all of a sudden. I read the carton, "Um, it says right here to use by date on carton. I think I'll pass since this is half and half after all."

Irrational anger began to sway my thinking. I hastily grabbed my remaining items and with much inner-grumbling drove home to make lunch. I began to unwrap the provolone cheese I had just picked out with care trying to find the best deal I could. My dimmed powers of observation kept me from seeing the 4 large, very dark green globs of mold now glaring at me right through the clear wrapping. This was bad timing.

Those poor employees. I actually worked myself into tears driving back to the store to take it back. This was it, the moment I had been waiting for since I woke up. I walked right up to the sweet, unsuspecting employees.

"Look," (it was all I could say at the moment) "mold!" Assuring me I could have a refund or more cheese, I walked past them to the back saying, "I need more cheese."

Now it was time for the poor guys behind the meat and cheese counter to have to be exposed to me. "Um, you probably want to know that I just bought provolone cheese right here that had lots of mold globs all over it." The aforementioned employees had just rushed back to show them the evidence.

"I need more, but look, and here's another, O, and this one too..." I began handing them all their moldy provolone cheese chunks as if I was doing them a great favor. These poor guys came running out, explaining that provolone is always the first to go bad, and they were so sorry.

"Well, do you have any good ones in the back?" I asked.

"I'm afraid this is all we have, Ma'am; but we do have the pre-sliced right here, unless of course you were planning on grating it," he looked really embarrassed and uncomfortable.

"No, I need it sliced, but this is twice the price per ounce, see; so I was just going to slice it myself." Now they both looked and compared provolone cheese prices.

"O, yeah, you're right. Well you can have it for the same price," they offered.

"I think I will do that," I replied and carried it up to the aforementioned employees to whom I explained the peace offering. They had to call the same two guys in the back to figure out what to do now.

"You can just take it," they said.
So I did.
I'm hoping to sleep better tonight.

The Wit of Grace?

Our little Grace is one hard-to-figure, creative 3-year-old. We are just never quite prepared for what may come forth from her lips at any given time and in her only volume - loud.

So, last night on our family outing to Wichita, we happened to stop by Target. While there Gracie picked out some new big girl panties along the theme of Disney princesses. She was R E A L L Y excited about having princess panties, but since she's never actually seen any of those movies, she doesn't know the names of these beautiful characters. Abby took the time to help her identify who they were, so she could tell Daddy when we met up with him. For some strange reason he suddenly disappeared right as we headed into the big girl panty section, completely uninvolved in the very important discussion of which ones to choose (Curious George, Hello Kitty, Dora, you get the idea - HARD decisions...)

A few moments later while still a good way off, but close enough to identify, Grace ran toward Greg exclaiming, "Daddy, I have princess panties! And it's Cinderella and Snow White, and BOOTY!" She really emphasized this last name as a clincher to the whole bit of fascinating news. That would now be our new nickname for Sleeping Beauty after we all had uncontrollable giggles for awhile in the aisle at Target.

This morning, Grace prayed before eating her Honey Bunches of Oats. I love her sweet prayers, usually so simple and real. Well, this morning she decided to be a little overly-spiritual and attempt to incorporate some things perhaps she picked up on from listening to other people pray. I immediately wrote it down...

Dear God, Help us get better and get more. Help us to be bored with You and get lost. Amen

What that was all about, I have NO idea, but I think that's similar to the way I sound when I'm working a little too hard at impressing people with my spirituality instead of being authentic.

And tonight while playing tennis as a family, Grace was mostly being a grumpy onlooker. She had her own raquet and ball but decided whining would be much more fun. Finally, under threat of losing her freshly-baked brownie once we got home, she became a little cheerier. Greg shot a winner right past me while I moaned, and Grace yelled,

"It's okay, Mommy! You always get it in the house -- HOORAY!"

Not sure, but she sounds like a genuine fan to me.

Dappled Shade

I'm a bit of a naturalist, sort of. What I am not is any representation of that word which conjours thoughts of science. I am 100% not a scientist and have never claimed any such thing.

With my disclaimers out of the way, I can safely share my love of experiencing nature. Autumn is my favorite season, absolutely: the majestic colors of foliage, the slight chill outside that makes my hands long to hold wooden knitting needles and alpaca yarn, the gray blanket of sky that makes all colors extra vibrant, and golden beams of strong sun that hit a lone tree like a great spotlight setting it apart... and then the fact that all of this comes and goes within the span of about two weeks. It seems terribly unfair to me, every year. This magnificent beauty that is so short-lived... I never feel as though I've adequately drunk it all in. As far as I'm concerned this is one season that never wears out its welcome (okay, some can argue the same for spring; but this is my blog).

I thought about this a few days ago when I took Rosie, my bad dog whom I love (again) out for a walk/run. This was a stupid idea. It was 10:30 am and 92 degrees already, but I was feeling terribly sorry for my bad dog who desperately needed exercise and is much worse without it. I was sweating like a pig (which, by the way, is an interesting expression. Do pigs sweat? Andrea, could you answer that one for me? Why not say "lathering like a horse"...) Anyway, we were both sweltering. There was no escape from the beating, unrelenting sun. The sun was at just such an angle so as to avoid giving us any shade whatsoever along our route... until one point. Right as Rosie and I rounded the last curve of the arboretum, there it was.

About twenty feet of the most beautiful dappled shade I've ever seen. I'm not exaggerating either. Intent upon beating the sun and sticking to my goal, we had kept up a good clip the whole way. As I entered the shade, I was so stunned by it that I made Rosie stop so we could just stand there and experience it. Within that little oasis, my whole perspective changed. I felt I could have spent the whole day right there. I looked at the variety of wildflowers around me, heard birds I had barely noticed before, actually felt a gentle, cooling breeze and contemplated.

Have I walked through dappled shade before? Yes, of course, but I couldn't remember a time when I had needed it so badly and found it so unexpectedly. I couldn't remember ever appreciating it so much. I took a moment to thank God for His blessings all around me all the time calling for me to appreciate them- to see the beauty they reflect of their Creator.

Autumn wouldn't be to me what it is if I expected it to wear out its welcome. The whole nature of its magical lure is in its Divine brevity. No, I'm not a scientist. I'm a nature-lover who would prefer to keep it all a mystery (although home schooling is blowing that a bit for me) and allow it to draw me a little closer to my Creator.

It's official

Well, it's official - I've started to train as a barista. Yesterday I worked on my steam wand phobia while trying my hand at a little steaming and frothing of milk. The whole tamping of the espresso with 30 pounds of pressure to "pull a shot" makes me feel p r e t t y cool. I also have a really nifty Lincoln Perk t-shirt and apron.

Now, on a completely different train (of thought, that is). I have to share an amazing "God-thing" that recently happened in our lives.

I am really looking forward to taking Abby away for a "Passport 2 Purity" weekend. This is a great one-on-one mini conference put out by Family Life Today for a parent and preteen to go on together. This is where The Big Talk happens, but it's so much more too.

I'm going over all of the material with great anticipation, and Greg and I planned the weekend to a tee. The idea is to go somewhere that would be fun for the child you're taking, have a great time together, make memories, and cover important stuff. Abby enjoys Kansas City. She wants to go to the science museum and the Moon Marble Company store, etc. We found the ideal hotel where we can stay and go over all of the material we need to cover in between outings; the one problem was that this particular trip wasn't really "in the budget." We have a travel budget, but currently gasoline about drains it.

Greg and I each decided to pray specifically about the amount of money we needed for the trip depending on the Lord however He would choose to provide (being perfectly willing to wait until my new, small paychecks could cover it). However, we had talked about trying to make this trip a priority this summer...

We came home from our whirlwind Dallas trip and found a card in the mailbox with yep, you guessed it... the exact amount of money we had discussed needing for this trip with Abby. It came inside an encouraging note from a source we never would have imagined receiving such a gift.

I share this, because I can't keep quiet about it. God is good; His faithfulness is far too often overlooked by me. I'm too busy focusing on my disappointments most of the time to see the Hand of Grace that sustains me. It was interesting that Greg and I had both been praying that God would provide in such a way that we would know it was Him (again however He saw fit to do that); we just wanted to acknowledge Him - to see His provision and not gloss over His gifts as if we actually did it on our own. We know our tendencies...

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing, Tune my heart to sing Thy grace

Streams of mercy, never ceasing, Call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet, Sung by flaming tongues above;

Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it, Mount of The redeeming love.

O to grace how great a debtor Daily I'm constrained to be!

Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, Bind my wandering heart to Thee:

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love:

Here's my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above.

The trip is on the calendar - in August.

Abby: The Inside Scoop

In honor of Abby's 11th birthday here is...

The Scoop on Abby

NAME: Abigail Sarah

AGE: 11

FAVORITE MOVIE: Narnia

PET PEEVE: Someone drinking out of her glass

INTERESTS: snakes/amphibians, space, rocks

TOP 4 BOOK PICKS: Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson, Things Not Seen by Andrew Clements, Otis Spofford by Beverly Cleary, The Great Brain by Fitzgerald

FREQUENT SAYINGS: "Gooooooodness Sakes!" "That is SO cool!"

MOST FUN FREE TIME ACTIVITIES: reading, building things (k'nex, etc.), listening to music, playing games as a family, playing guitar, coloring in detailed coloring books (Dover)

MUSIC FAVES: Newsboys, Super Chic, Veggie Rocks

FAVORITE FOODS (gotta have this one): breakfast sausage, chicken enchiladas with poblano cream sauce, spaghetti

FAVORITE BEVERAGES: good ole o.j., "good" lemonade

FAVORITE DESSERTS (notice a theme): chocolate chip cookies, chocolate chip cake, toll house pie, chocolate malts

Abby's Favorite Chocolate Chip Cake

1 pkg. yellow cake mix

1 C. sour cream

1 small pkg. instant chocolate pudding

1/2 C. oil

1 tsp. vanilla

1/2 C. warm water

4 eggs

1 C. chocolate chips

Mix everything but chips together with a mixer until well-blended. Then stir in chips. Pour in a greased and floured bundt pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean.

QUIRK: 2nd and middle toes are webbed on each foot (very cute, if you ask me)

TOP OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES: playing tennis, shooting baskets, nature-exploring at the arboretum

FUTURE CAREER INTERESTS: geologist, missionary, space exploration science

DREAM VACATIONS: Disney world (again!), going to Africa: to see Victoria Falls, meet people, see landscape and animals

FAVORITE COLOR: Red!

BIBLE VERSE: O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! -Psalm 8:1

My (as Abby's mom who always cries at this part, not out of sadness, but simply because I'm moved) excerpt from the end of The House at Pooh Corner:

Then, suddenly again, Christopher Robin, who was still looking at the world, with his chin in his hands, called out "Pooh!"

"Yes?" said Pooh.

"When I'm - when - Pooh!"

"Yes, Christopher Robin?"

"I'm not going to do Nothing any more."

"Never again?"

"Well, not so much. They don't let you."

Pooh waited for him to go on, but he was silent again. Still with his eyes on the world Christopher Robin put out a hand and felt for Pooh's paw.

"Pooh," said Christopher Robin earnestly, "if I - if I'm not quite ---" he stopped and tried again --- "Pooh, whatever happens, you will understand, won't you?"

"Understand what?"

"Oh, nothing." He laughed and jumped to his feet. "Come on!"

"Where?" said Pooh.

"Anywhere," said Christopher Robin.

Happy Birthday, Abby! You are a tremendous blessing in our lives and you are growing into a lovely young lady. We are so proud of you...

Big Birthday Bash

We just returned (as in two hours ago) from a whirlwind trip to Dallas to visit Greg's brother and sister-in-law (Brian and Melanie) and family. Our niece Hannah turned 16 last month, so this was our better-late-than-never BIG BIRTHDAY BASH.

They just put in a pool, so we had been planning a pool party; but monsoons had delayed things a bit. Gracious Hannah decided we should come this weekend and make it a DOUBLE BIG BIRTHDAY BASH, because Abby will turn 11 on Monday. We made the most of our 44 hours there...

H I G H L I G H T S

Swimming, of course

Fabulous Food: grilled salmon and Farfalle Alfredo, pizza on the grill, croissant sandwiches, chocolate mousse birthday cake, really good coffee...

Great conversation - I love that

Laughing at youtube

Presents!

Going to SuperTarget (not something I get to do everyday like I could in Iowa, now that the closest one is 40 minutes away); Thanks, Melanie!

Finding out my sister now has a blog! She called to tell me while we were on our way to Dallas. The address is: http://knittinghummel.blogspot.com/

Sleeping in a super comfy bed

Visiting the Heard Museum to see the Snake Exhibit - Abby thinks snakes are fascinating and knows all about them!

And meeting Rapunzel the Hamster who is actually named Sophie. Due to an odd cross-breeding of some sort, she has antennae made of fur growing right behind her ears (thus my nickname for her). Melanie held her for the picture. I knew you'd have to see it to believe it...