Blah

I'm tired. I've been in a blah mood mostly all day, and I hate it when that happens. I kept telling myself to snap out of it, kept reminding myself of all the reasons I have for joyfulness, even just plain happiness, for gratitude... didn't help, just made me feel a little more like a failure for failing to snap out of it! Today would have been a good day for a happy pill, just one little dose of smile, maybe even laugh, happiness.

We hosted a new church small group at our house last night. I really like having people in our home. I love to provide a comfortable place for people to relax and be real, a safe haven. The problem with this week was that on Monday we changed from Abby and Emma sharing a room to Abby and Emma each having their own room. This is a good and wonderful thing all except that it means a large amount of stuff is now homeless, and the basement and upstairs hallway were serving as temporary homeless shelters. Yesterday, we HAD TO DEAL WITH THE STUFF. There were about to be people in our home. I stood there looking at the basement as tears began to form, paralyzed and confused.

The decision to make the laundry room/storage room the new homeless shelter happened. Now I have to stay out of that room, or I will cry.

Tonight we hosted an elders and wives dinner. A miracle happened between 5:30 and 6:00 p.m. We had Tex-Mex night out on the back patio. I made chicken enchiladas with poblano cream sauce, homemade refried beans, and salsa rice. It was a busy day, and at 5:30 I dashed to the bathroom to get a shower. Greg and I ran this morning, so I've been mostly gross all day. I thought it would be really silly to take a shower before I rolled 4 pans of enchiladas (with all that softening of tortillas in oil). The problem was that I didn't get that done until 5:30, people were supposed to arrive at 6:00. There was still much to be done, I was in a slight panic, so I prayed. "Lord, I need a miracle. I don't know how it will be possible, but could You allow us to be ready to receive these guests graciously when they arrive? Help us somehow get it all done."

Not one of the deeper prayers, I know. But here's the real truth. I stood in my kitchen, make-up on, hair dried, enchiladas hot, beans mashed, tables set, beverages made, rice ready, trying to frantically think of something to do at 5:55. When our guests arrived, I had nothing else to do but visit with them. It was a miracle, and I don't know how it happened (I owe a lot to a need-sensing hubby).

I'm thankful that He blessed the prayer of a grumpy Martha really wanting to transform into a Mary. We had a great time tonight. I'm thinking I'll sleep well.