I am second

I had to share this web link with you if you'd care to take a look. I am so impressed by the way this was put together. A very successful businessman who also happens to be a Jesus-follower here in the Dallas area has started this campaign called I AM SECOND. That's all it says on the billboards - no web address or anything. When you google it the following website comes up...

http://www.iamsecond.com/

I will warn you that some of the real life stories are pretty dramatic and not suitable for kiddos, but I hope this brings some encouragement to you.

I also had to share this picture of Abby with her new ripstik that she bought with Christmas money. It is so perfect for my outdoorsy girl who is really getting the hang of it already - I, on the other hand can't even stand on it without promptly falling off. And here is Grace wearing one of the shirts my sister Erika embroidered and appliqued for her.

FINALLY

Now that almost forever has passed since my last post, it is finally time for a new one.

I obviously didn't get to Christmas cards this year; I figure I'll wait until we have an address and then send out a lovely photo change of address postcard. But MANY thanks to so many of you for the family updates, encouraging cards and notes, gifts, and just the reminder of your wonderful friendship. We are truly blessed by you!


On to a few photo updates (forgive the yellow tint on some and the blue tint on others; I'm still not sure how to get the settings right on my camera that I've had for... um, 5 years).






Here's my Greg growing his fabulous new chin whiskers - I LOVE THEM! They're much longer and thicker now.

The whole my side of the family Christmas photo

Making gingerbread houses at my parent's house.

Christmas Eve eating.


Grace joining the big girls on her new bike from Grandma and Papa. She LOVES IT!




And what might Greg be working so hard on here? Well, I'll tell you later...

The rest of the photos are just some fun shots I took today while the cousins hunted for snail shells in the beautiful 70 degrees at the very end of December weather we're having here in Texas!

Phil Wickham

Yesterday, Phil Wickham led worship at the church we've been attending. It was not a huge room, and it wasn't overstuffed like some concert. It was a blessed time of beautiful worship. Greg and I already had Phil pegged as one of our favorite worship singers/songwriters, but after yesterday, I'm even more impressed with his music. He LED worship, completely unassuming, completely focused on Christ.

AND, as beautiful as the worship time was, I DID NOT FALL APART. I figured out that all I need to do is bring along a talkative 5-year-old who is really pretty tall for her age and demands to be held so she can see. So, the beautiful worship time was colored not with the propensity toward tears but the propensity toward blowing my top in the middle of church. Such is the real life of a Jesus-follower, I guess.

O, and I got to shake Phil's hand and thank him for being there when it was over. Cool.

Problem

I seem to be having this problem... I have only been to a few worship services since our move, and so far I can't make it through one without completely falling apart.

First off, I want to say that I'm not an excessive crier. I used to say, "I'm not very emotional and hardly ever cry," but that is just not even true anymore. I will say that generally I keep it together pretty well, then get away by myself and let the tears flow in solitude.

This new problem is quite unsettling for a number of reasons:
1. I never seem to have enough Kleenexes on hand, because I keep being surprised by this event, to handle the steady flow from my nose.

2. The above situation makes me feel a little embarrassed and vulnerable in public.

3. I seem to have lost control in an area where I have always had ample control and I REALLY LIKE CONTROL.

4. I'm not sure this is a good way to make new friends, because if I were looking at me, I might be a little freaked out.

The main issue is the singing of praise songs. The pastor at Chase Oaks, where we've been attending in Dallas, preached yesterday on worshipping the Lord in song. He mentioned the unique opportunity it is for God to "lift our heads" that may be bowed down for a variety of reasons (shame, pain, doubt, grief...) up toward Him - the One who is outside our circumstances even while He works in and through them.

That gives definition to my experience of finding Him faithful and true, righteous and worthy, compassionate and merciful, complete and sovereign as I sing. His character is so vivid at those moments, and my ability to see Him so clear that I weep. No matter how hard I try to avert my gaze from the words or think about something else, there is the Body of Christ (most of whom I don't yet know personally) all around me lifting their hearts and voices in adoration of Him who is worthy - drawing me even against my will fully in to the experience of worship. I know for some of them there is "pain in the offering," yet they sing.

Thank you, Body of Christ. I'll just learn to pack more Kleenexes into my purse for now.

Thankful

So, I am missing my hubby terribly. Since he hasn't ever had one of those travelling all the time jobs, I'm really bad at being away from him for more than a few days. We are having a good time here, but here's what happens...

We went with my mom a few days ago to the San Antonio Art Museum. It was wonderful, fascinating, and who else should have been there?... um, my artist husband who helps me appreciate those things all the more.

Yesterday, we visited the truly amazing San Antonio Missions. They are so beautiful and very well preserved. I had to keep reminding myself of how old they really are and that these are the real deal not replicas. The scale of some of them, keeping in mind their age, is mind-boggling. Abby was wowed too. She commented on their castle-like quality and how movies should be made there and how elements of them reminded her of scenes out of Lord of the Rings. (So sorry I left my camera in Dallas, I hope. Have we found it yet, Honey?)

We visited Mission Concepcion, Mission San Jose', and Mission San Juan. I was especially struck by the beautiful architectural detail like layers of high stone walls with gorgeous windows cut into them and each wall in front of a wall in front of another wall having a different window shape. There were perfect widely arched windows layered in front of skinny, pointed arched windows with blue bits of sky entering the layers where windows overlapped. The whole time I thought, "Greg needs to be here with his camera taking pictures for drawings, paintings, and just awesome black and white photos to mat and frame." I found myself trying to look through his eyes and enjoy the art all around me.

Today Greg is baking bread at his brother's house. I LOVE IT when Greg bakes bread. So I'm imagining the delicious, comforting smell.

Yeah, so I like the guy an awful lot. And I'm thankful for who I am because of his influence in my life. Truth is he needs me. He's been arriving to every meeting or appointment he's had over the last week like 30 minutes early. That NEVER happens when I'm around.

Pictures courtesy of my Dad and his camera who went to the park with us today. Thanks, Dad.

minivan moment

One of the many Texas blessings we are beginning to encounter is the opportunity to connect with old and dear friends and of course lots of family. Just to clarify - the friends are not old, just the friendships.

Today the girls and I travelled to San Antone and just arrived not too long ago. On the way, we stopped to get together with Ross and Christy who happened to be vacationing just south of Dallas. Greg went along before heading back to Dallas. Ross and Christy are those kinds of friends that you can't quite remember not having. We've known each other since before we were all even coupled off and married. They are so precious to us and have always been sources of tremendous encouragement. Thanks for the visit, y'all!

Thought I'd let you in on one of the MANY conversations that went on in a minivan full of females for 5 hours:

After a unique period of silence, Grace says with a BIG voice: "Abby, ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING?"

Abby feeling a little confused says, "Um, I don't know Grace. What are you thinking?"

Grace: "I'm thinking what you're thinking!"

Abby: "Oh."

After a little more silence, Grace says: "Abby, you're thinking about just me."

Abby: "Oh, I'm thinking about you, Grace? Is that what you're thinking?"

Grace: "Yes."

Of course.

The Bank

SOOO, today was the big day Greg and I needed to open a bank account here in good ole' Texas. It's a little different doing this without an actual address of our own, but we had the OK from very dear friends who also happen to be family who also happen to share (own) our current place of residence.
This would be interesting factor #1

Next, I realized while we were walking through the parking lot that we would need a recent piece of mail with our names plus our current place of residence address on it to show that we do, in fact, currently reside here. The ONLY such evidence I had with me was: a post card from the small town library we just moved away from letting us know that we have a fine due on a late returned book. EXCELLENT.
Interesting factor #2

A VERY NICE lady helped us. In the process, she asked, "Okay, so where do the two of you work now?"
A bit of silence...
"Well, nowhere just yet, we're in transition."
(Does everybody really have to hear THE STORY?)
No, she didn't, she was really and truly VERY NICE after all (she had red hair and will be moving to S.A.).
Interesting factor #3

And then we got to the referral credit part where we let them know about our dear friends who also happen to be family who also happen to bank there. This is when they get a small bit of cash, and so do we, for talking in nice ways about the bank. This is when the VERY NICE lady just needed to make quite sure that the addresses were correct..
"OK, so the very same address?"
"Yep, for now."
Interesting factor #4

No problem.

Foggy

Well, we made it. We are here in the Dallas area, currently living with dear friends who also happen to be family. I've been feeling just a little foggy for several weeks now - you know the kind of surreal, dream-like fog that spins all around you and you feel like you're watching a movie, but it's really your life and you're actually one of the main characters.

The good news is I went for a really wonderful 3 mile run today, and those of you who have known me recently know that this was a huge step in the reclaiming of my life from the fog. The fact that I could do it, and in fact, loved it means that this could be the beginning of the beginning. The weather was gorgeous. We travelled back in time, season-wise, and didn't miss fall in Texas. Those of you who know me, know how marvellous that is for me. And yes, the sky was deep gray with golden sun breaking through and glimmering on trees of vibrantly red, yellow, orange, and green leaves.

Thank You, Creator, I noticed.
And I'll keep you posted on where He takes us from here.

Hints from a moving mom...

Cover your kitchen table with newsprint paper and throw lots of markers and crayons and pencils in the middle of it. Surround the table with children who have little else to do, and they will stay happy indefinitely. O yeah, add a little Gracie who carries cookies and candy and bread around (without asking her mother first) to keep everyone from getting hungry.

Some dear and gracious friends who bought some paper to help us with packing had no idea how versatile it would be. Beyond stuffing, wrapping, layering... it also becomes the entertainment for the children in the house while their moms are helping me. Thanks, Lapps! And thanks ALL of you who are giving of your time and resources and energy and food to encourage and sustain us. You are amazing; I would be drowning without you.

Grace's morning song

The fun in our house is getting seriously sparse with most everything in boxes now, so the girls have been getting more creative in the simplicity. Several decks of playing cards were out yesterday and today for building card houses.

This morning, Grace sang this song while looking at the cards spread out on the living room floor:

I can't draw a 5
I think they are boys
But they are really wild girls...

(Long dramatic pause)
And I can't really draw 4 either.

Friday

Don't have much to say. We'll be moving to Dallas in a little over a week; here are some recent pictures in the meantime...

Bursting

I have been wondering if it's okay to brag about my own children on my blog - not that I haven't done it before, I've just been wondering if it's okay. I decided that since reading my blog is a voluntary activity, not one that is forced upon you, and since it is my blog, that yes, it is okay.

In light of this disclaimer, I have to share that Abby came home from her end of season volleyball party on Monday with an award. Each volleyball team gave out 4 or 5 awards to those who were voted by the team to have most exemplified whatever the award was for. Abby came home with the "Attitude is Everything" award for her 7th grade team. I was so proud of her; in my opinion that is the best award she can win, especially when fellow teammates are voting. Congratulations, Abby! You've had an excellent season.

To help offset any dangerous head-swelling, I also have to share that my brilliant daughter who is doing tremendously well academically, spent two late evenings in a row looking ALL OVER THE HOUSE for her tennis shoes which she "PROMISED" came home with her and mysteriously displaced themselves. She took them out of her bag, remembered putting them in a certain place on her floor, and then POOF! they were gone. She wondered if she had hidden them in her sleep (which she has done before with other things); she even blamed me for playing some kind of trick and taking her shoes. And BOTH times, they were actually sitting right in the locker room at school, abandoned by their owner.

I also received an email from Emma's homeroom teacher yesterday letting me know what a delightful, mature, and bright student she is. He was saddened to hear that we'll be moving because of the influence she is within the class. Congratulations, Emma! I'm so proud of how you've adjusted to school.

And we spent a delightful week with my sister Erika and my precious niece Lucy who came to visit. Here are a couple of favorite pictures...

I went for a

5 mile run today - which for me is pretty much a marathon. I did it; I ran the whole thing without stopping. I needed it today.

The only thing that kept me going was this:

"Put one foot in front of the other.
Repeat."

Plus the ipod.

jogging again

I should be working on dinner, and I will be soon, but there are so many potential blog posts in my head and NOT ENOUGH TIME... like showing pictures of the first ever time I was in a parade (which, by the way happened last night in our little town. I made it in, because I'm a barista! You just don't make it into San Antonio parades for such accomplishments. I walked along with fellow baristas in front of our owner's jeep made to look like a giant cup of steaming coffee - dry ice on top. We wore our aprons with pockets full of candy to toss out along the way. The whole parade lasted about 12 minutes).

OR I also want to share how recently revisiting the wonderful children's book Betsy-Tacy inspires my whole concept of true friendship anew - that will be to come, I'm sure.

BUT today what I am most needing to post about is my morning jog. It was gorgeous this morning, and I didn't take the ipod because I felt the need to completely experience creation. I was energized by the coolness and the songs of the birds and insects and frogs. I was overwhelmed by the visual impact around me, struggling to know where to let my eyes gaze.

I thought about the structured beauty of the gardens and well-ordered landscapes that make up much of what we experience in nature. I also thought about the gardens and forests that grow out of nature's chaos, out of seeds dropped wherever and allowed to sprout and grow. I thought about the "stuff" we clear out to make room for well-ordered beauty.

I thought about how my Heavenly Father is actually in charge of all of it. In His goodness, He gives us minds that love to create beauty; He gives us resources to do so. He allows us to "control" creation in such a way that we are satisfied with our work and refreshed by its beauty. He is the author of the beauty as the Creator of both the "stuff" we have to work with and the "us" that works with it.

I am also thankful for the beauty that comes from the "chaos" of nature - the unplanned landscapes, untouched by human hands, out of our control, and yet remarkably beautiful. As if some Divine Creator takes what seems like chaos to us, because it is not ordered or controlled by us, and lets us see The Beauty and in fact, the Divine Design of it. It is at those places that we feel most blessed, like we have discovered a treasure meant only for our eyes. The overgrown forest that, if you look underneath the lowest branches, becomes a hidden playhouse for children (or fairies). The monarch that decides to fly just at your right shoulder at the last curve of your jog as if challenging you to a race, keeping you going.

The reminder that divine beauty can come from things outside of our control.

Job Description

Yesterday, Grace looked up at me from her drawing at the kitchen table and said,
"Mommy, I want to do the things you do."

"Like what exactly?" I asked.

"Well, like vacuuming the living room, taking naps on the couch, reading Bibles, and feeding babies."

And that was the list - I'm pretty sure "feeding babies" hearkens back to our weekend with cousin Lucy.

I've been pondering my life for the last 24 hours, feeling like perhaps I should read the next chapter of the book I'm making my way through right now by Dr. Leslie Parrott, You Matter More Than You Think.

whirlwind

Our family just returned on Saturday night from a wonderful and whirlwindy trip to Des Moines. We couldn't start the trip until after Abby's volleyball game on Thursday night. It lasted until 6:00ish, which means we didn't arrive in Des Moines until 1:00 a.m.

Abby did a great job in her game! Here are some photos from a previous game that I've been meaning to post...

Abby is in the back row, far left - #38

Greg had to take a close up, because this is the first time since Abby was four, I think, that she has worn a ribbon in her hair -- it was a volleyball team thing.

The reason for our trip was to celebrate the finalization of our niece's (sweet Lucy's) adoption. Erika and Darin held an Open House party on Saturday. What a privilege it is to watch all of this unfold and to enjoy the blessing of this precious girl.

My sister made a bazillion beautiful, tasty cupcakes that all had hand-piped frosting. Wow! What happened in the genetics between her and I? She dances and she's flexible too.


An added joy was the opportunity to visit with our dear friends the Larsons (minus Alyssa who had previous commitments - sorry Alyssa, we missed you!) who came from Cedar Rapids.






And, I would say, the whirlwind was worth it!

Birthdays Galore!

Grace Kathryn is FIVE years old today. This is Grace's first birthday celebration at home. We have ALWAYS been on vacation over her birthday, so I decided we should throw together her first ever "friend" birthday party. This poor third-born child looks longingly at pictures of Abby and Emma's previous parties and asks what all the kids are doing, what are they eating, what are they dressed up as, etc...

So today, we had three little girls over for a lunch of mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, and fruit (there's the nutrition, right there). We made tissue paper butterflies and lugged the giant dress-up trunk into the living room and that was pretty much all we needed. They all acted like such little ladies, I couldn't believe it. Nobody yelled for and grabbed at what someone else was wearing. No one cried because someone else had the fancy shoes they wanted. In fact what I heard was...

"O, you look beautiful. Here, you need to wear this tiara, because it goes with that dress."

"Could you please button my dress for me?"

"Here let me find the shoes that go with your dress for you."

And on and on. I got the giggles listening to these little 4 and 5 year old girls acting more grown up than many older girls I listen to (no one in particular, of course).

We had cupcakes with pink frosting and princess sprinkles (which included glass slippers, pearls, golden crowns, and enchanted apples)

And truly much to Abby and Emma's chagrin the whole fun PARTY had to happen while they were at school. That's okay, we'll celebrate as a family tonight, it was Grace's turn.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEET GRACE!

We love you.

Here is Grace wearing the apron my sister made for her out of fabric with a little blond girl and "gracie" printed all over it.

Happy Birthday, Little Brother!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAUL!!

You say it's your birthday,

It's my birthday too, yeah.

You are awesome, brilliant, handsome, FUNNY, and...

your present will be late, sorry. Have a great day - I love you.

From your loving twin sister, two years removed.

On running

Sometimes when you go for a two mile run, it's not to do speed work or because you're super fit and need to stick to your strict training plan (in which case it would be more than two miles anyway). It's not even because you want to keep your current fitness level current.

Sometimes you go for a two mile run just because you feel like you can't. You put on your running shoes and grab your ipod and go just because you need to know that you can do it. You know that you can run the two miles without stopping simply because you've done it so many times before.

And you find (regardless of what you think of my theology here) that at some point in your run, the need to stop overwhelms you and just when you feel no choice but to give in, God brings just the right song onto your ipod. That well-timed song pushes you beyond what you thought you could do and not only do you finish that run, you kick it up and finish strong. And then you almost throw up.

But I ran the whole two miles.

just me

I spent all day wearing mismatched earrings and did not notice until bedtime tonight. They were dangley and show really well with my new short hair. Just thought I should share.

Beauty

Beaver Creek, Colorado was beautiful. For the first time in my life, I rode a ski lift - along with Greg and the girls. We hiked at the top of the ski lift and experienced a little altitude dizziness, but it was gorgeous. Grace only rode the ski lift up and then back down with me before I rode up again for our hiking. We all rode in a gondola too, another first.

The kiddos spent plenty of time wading in mountain streams, looking for fabulous rocks, hunting pine cones, and enjoying the many kid's activities offered at the resort in the summer.

We had a wonderful time with Greg's family and fully celebrated the legacy of his parents, Jack and Sandra, and their 50 years of marriage.

Enjoy the pictures:

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!

Mountains!

We're heading to Colorado to celebrate Greg's parents' 50th Anniversary! I can't wait. Pictures to come...

Trust

You have measured the waters in the hollow of Your hand,
And marked off the heavens with the breadth of Your hand.
You have calculated the dust of the earth in a measure,
And weighed the mountains in the balance
And the hills in scales.

You are the Lord, and there is no other;
Apart from You there is no God.
From the rising of the sun to its setting,
We know there is none besides You.
You are the Lord, and there is no other.

May I be strong and courageous; may I not be afraid or discouraged, for You, Lord my God, will be with me wherever I go.

(Isaiah 40:12, 45:5-6, Joshua 1:9)

NEWS

Just in case you've heard a rumor, NO, I AM NOT EXPECTING.


I really love the shirt styles for women right now: feminine, long, flowy, higher waisted. They're fun, but they do have a slightly ambiguous attitude right around the womb. I put on one of my favorite feminine shirts of just such a style this morning before heading out with Grace to run some errands.


We ran into at least four people we knew, not counting others we may not have noticed (I'm a focused shopper). One particular woman who is very friendly and I just know as an acquaintance visited with me for awhile, and I began to notice that her eyes were occasionally diverting toward that ambiguous area I mentioned. All of you women know how it goes: you CAN'T say anything, because what if you're wrong, but what if you SHOULD notice and it's actually at that point where NOT saying something could be perceived as unconcerned.


Now, if this sweet lady was someone I knew a little better, I would have outright declared to her that no, I am not expecting, to put her at ease... But it didn't seem quite appropriate at the time. If I were her I would have gone to someone in our very little town I knew who knew me and asked, to prepare myself if need be for our next encounter.


AND all of this, could perchance start a rumor that I would like to end right now. There, and now I'm trying to determine if these pretty shirts are worth it.


It is true however, that I have a VERY SHORT new "do." I picked Emma up from school the day I had my hair cut, and she got right in the van and said, "Nice hair, Mom. Dad's not going to like it."

"And why do you say that, Emma?"


"You know Dad likes your hair long."


"Well, for your information, Daddy knew all about this, and he's already seen it and he does like it" -- or at least he is a wise and experienced husband with the perfect first reaction.

So far so good

So far so good mostly...

With some normal bumps and foibles, Abby and Emma are finding their way around their new school and through their school day remarkably well. I'm so proud of them. Abby has started daily volleyball practice this week, and she's enjoying it so far.

As for me... Well, I'm having a bit of an extended identity crisis, but I'll get through. I find myself wandering around the house sometime after lunch looking in every room for my cue on what REALLY IMPORTANT thing I should do next. Grace and I are having a great time so far going on nature walks at the arboretum, playing at the playground at the end of our street, reading LOTS of books, doing puzzles... but this is the first time I have ever had only one 4 year old child at home; at some point each day I become completely boring. Grace seems to be enjoying the new look to our days for the most part too.

I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father's faithfulness to me. He is reminding me through little answered prayers of His Presence with Abby and Emma, of His involvement in their lives, and of His love for them. He is reminding me of His sovereignty, and I am so grateful.

The first day of school

Abby and Emma are currently in the middle of their first ever day AT school. They have both been pretty anxious about starting something so new, but within the last couple of days we have been overwhelmed by all of the love and encouragement we've received from friends and family.

We have had many phone calls checking in telling us we're being prayed for. We received a package in the mail from my sister with homemade super cool magnets for Abby's and Emma's lockers along with other fun school stuff. She also sent Grace a craft kit to enjoy at home when her sisters were gone.

Our dear friends, the Larson family, sent a perfectly timed Top 10 List of why GOING to school is cool composed by Logan and Alyssa. We just got it in the mail yesterday, and it is currently hanging on our fridge.

I was the backpack fairy last night, trying to sneak cards into Abby's and Emma's backpacks in their rooms while the were asleep. I was really terrible at it. They both woke up to ask me what I was doing.

"Nothing, you never saw me here. Good night."

By this morning, the anxiety was gone and Abby and Emma seemed mostly just excited.

And Grace and I went to our first "Mom of going to school kids" thing right after we dropped Abby and Emma off. We all met at the Donut shop and laughed and cried a bit and prayed and ate donuts and sat and talked for a long time until the jitters wore off a bit.

All good things...

And the fun has continued...

Emma's violin concert at a nursing home... Her instructor is on the left.

A captive audience

Mrs. Spencer asked Grace to come up and sing Jesus Loves Me while the violinists accompanied her. Our little born performer quickly and SUPER cheerfully agreed to the idea and charmed everyone. Ethan was invited up as well, but he wasn't quite as eager so he charmed from the sidelines with his sweet face.

The day of the violin concert also happened to be Grace's first ever ballet class which she has been waiting for her whole life. I had to snap a quick, blurry picture before she ran to join her circle.

We've seen the American Girl Kit movie in the theater, we went swimming at an indoor pool on a rainy evening, we spent all day today at The Exploration Place (science museum) in Wichita, and I'm feeling a little tired.

BUT, we have made fabulous memories and thoroughly enjoyed our last hurrah of summer. Tomorrow Hannah and Ethan head home, and something tells me the house will seem terribly boring as soon as we hug good-bye.